18 January 2015 • my writing
Everyone gets that overwhelming feeling that nothing in their life at that precise moment is okay or ever will be okay. That moment when the water drop collides with the ground and there is nothing you could have done about it. But you will think about. You will think about what you could have done in between that time. You desperately torture yourself over things you could have done, should have done. Even when you convince yourself that it’s too late, you will still go over it over and over again. How can one part of your brain not get that it’s over? That now, now there is nothing you can do change what happened. That it has happened you have done it and that it needs to stop torturing yourself. There has to be a part of the brain that enjoys the torture. That wants you to relive every moment, so you can feel the embarrassment over and over again.
I believe in the forgiveness of the soul. The forgiveness of each other. Sometimes, however, I can’t forgive myself.
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