YouTuber Love - Cloudy Apples

Friday, 30 January 2015

Instead of my usual ‘What I learned this month’ (which I will still be doing as sporadically as before) I thought I would share a video that I haven’t stopped thinking about since I watched it. 

Kassie is one of my favourite YouTubers. She’s not the typical beauty YouTuber, so I do think she is my favourite YouTuber outside of that. I really like her personality and I feel I can relate to her. I think in the midst of the YouTubers who can be repetitive (there is only so much beauty I can take) Kassie is a breath of fresh air. Her latest video was absolutely amazing, so much so that I just had to share it with you all.


Kassie’s video struck a chord with me because in the past couple of days (and currently) all I have felt is numbness and depression. Kassie’s video made me feel something other than that. She was also right and the feelings she evoked in me have allowed a bit of light into my life. 

Like Kassie’s says in the video, she stopped doing things because she was worried or sure they wouldn’t meet her expectations. I do the same; I keep myself from going to things because I fear that if they don’t meet my expectations then it’s a waste of time and money. That said there are things I do turn down, just because they are not my thing. But as Kassie rightly pointed out, as a kid you just did things and didn’t worry about the outcome. I was like that for a while as a kid, but then even then I still kept myself away from people. I want to stop doing that, and I want to stop worrying so much about having an awful time when I’m out, that I decide to just stay inside instead. Because it hasn’t helped me, it’s just hindered me. This may not seem like much, but as a result I've said yes to a drink with a friend tomorrow night, I previously had said no because I didn't see what I could achieve from it. But here's to trying. 

I loved the way Kassie filmed this and the voice over. I hope you enjoy her video has much as me. Also can I point out how short it is? She just gets straight to the point and just talks about things we all experience, but maybe are not widely addressed by many YouTubers (which in a way I'm glad about because they would waffle on).

Here are some more of my favourites by her:
When Bloggers Think They're Perfect 
Tramampolines! Food, Outfit, Fun 
Selfie-Esteem


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A Journey With Serums.

Tuesday, 27 January 2015



This post has actually been a long time coming. I just kept putting it off for some reason, but thought I should blab on about it, incase it helps anyone else! 

The first serum I ever bought was the The Body Shop Vitamin E Overnight Serum‑In‑Oil based off of Caroline Hiron’s recommendation. For me it did work to inject that extra bit of moisture and make my skin plump, I felt the benefits from about the second use - my skin looked brighter and felt plump. Having oily skin I didn’t reach for it often in the week, I kept to using it twice a week because I knew my skin was dehydrated. After a while I didn’t notice the same effect that had happened when I first started using it. But carried on with it anyway.

I then purchased Trilogy 100% Natural Certified Organic Rosehip because I heard it was good for hyper pigmentation and was also used a serum by most people. Funnily enough, Hirons is not a fan of just Rosehip as a serum, but different strokes for different folks. I love Hirons for prompting me to take greater care of my skin, but I always like to take everything with a pinch of salt, do some researching and not follow the herd. Anyway, after a week of using the Rosehip, I was like “oh hay plump looking skin” but sadly much like The Body Shop Serum-In-Oil the benefits didn’t stay around for long.

I didn’t know much about serums before I started using them, except that your skin absorbed it much easier than a moisturiser. After trying those two and having them both stop working, I decided to do some digging because I actually wanted to purchase more serums despite my experiences. I first of all found that there are two types of serums, oil based and water based. I also found that my problem was quite common. In fact on several sites that I came across it was recommended that you stopped using your serum for 2-4weeks after you noticed it wasn’t working as well, and then go back to it. This may be common knowledge to most people, but from reading Caroline’s blog and seeing YouTubers talking about their routines, I always thought serums were to be included at all the time. It’s worth stating here, that I only ever used serums at night.

During my research I was actually able to try Ole Henriksen Truth Serum Collagen Booster, which is a water based serum because I purchased the Ole Henriksen The Works. I wanted to try it because the other two had been oil based, so I thought I might have more luck with this one. The main difference was how easily the water one absorbed into the skin; I definitely preferred this over the other two. However, it didn’t leave me plump skin after use, but however I think it's because it is not created for that purpose. I won’t say much more as, I will review the whole set later.

So that has been my journey with serums so far. Since I finished using the Ole Henriksen Truth Serum about 3 weeks ago, I haven’t touched the other two. Thing is, I’m really hankering for the Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair, this is mainly going off the blogging/youtube hype. I hate going for things just because everyone is using it (see third paragraph) because actually a lot of these things don’t seem to work for me, but man oh man am I drawn to it. I have however looked into the Estee Lauder serum collection, and they actually have one for hyper pigmentation but I am 'umming' and 'ahhing' because quite frankly the price tag is very high. Especially considering I haven’t got on well with serums. The three I've mentioned here have been fairly priced, the Ole Serum takes it up a notch by being priced around £18.00 or so, but I of course got it in the kit. 

I am seriously considering buying the La Roche Posay, that I mentioned in this post on dealing with hyper pigmentation. The price tag is much lower, but again I’m really confused about investing in a product that seems to have a mind of its own! But watch this space because I'm all about forgiving and trying!

Is there a product you struggle with in your skincare routine?

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Recent Purchases

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

So I decided it was time to do a collective "haul" as I have acquired a few new bits that I want to share. These span out to about 2 months or so, I most certainly did not get them all in one go! 


Balm Balm Tea Tree Lip Balm - I decided to purchase this as my Nuxe lip balm had run out and this was much cheaper. I’ve used this daily since I got it and I have to say I much prefer my Nuxe one. This one wears off to quickly so I find myself reapplying throughout the day. With my Nuxe one I applied twice a day because it was that long lasting. This product is actually a multi use one, so I can use it for any bits of dry skin that appear during the day, but I carry hand cream with me at all times anyway. I don’t have anything really bad to say about the product as it is nice, but I will not be purchasing it again.

La Roche Posay - Serozinc - When I heard news that Serozinc was finally available to be purchased from a reliable seller and delivered to the UK, I was super happy. I placed my order in December and waited patiently for the New Year to roll around. I’ve used this about 4 times I’d say, so I am yet to form a proper opinion on it, however I did breakout when using this. During the time I was using this, I was also using another product, which is pictured above. It was also my time of the month, so I'm not 100% sure of the cause. What I will say though, is in the 4 times I’ve used this I’ve noticed that my skin has become oilier, which is bizarre because this marketed as controlling oil.

First Aid Beauty - Facial Radiance Pads - So if you read this my review on the FAB Cleanser with Red Clay you’ll know that I’ve been dying to try the radiance pads. I bought the Clearasil ones as something to try first, but when they ran out I decided it was time to upgrade. This arrived in December (after Christmas) so before the Serozinc, but it was the only new thing in my skin routine in addition to Serozinc so I am struggling to find the source of the breakout. The smell of this is a bit bleh, but nothing you can’t handle. I’ll have to reintroduce this into my routine as well in order to give my full opinion as for the time being I have stopped using it. I bought this from Feel Unique in the sale so managed to get a couple of pounds off.





theBalm Nude 'Tude Eyeshadow Palette - I was able to pick up this palette for £8.00 or so. I purchased it via Birchbox with points and an offer. I'm sure I purchased this back in December, maybe the end of November. I actually own about two eyeshadow palettes but greedy me wanted one that was raved about, so when I saw the chance to pick this up for a cheaper price I thought why not! I love the colours in this palette for a start, but I also love how all the names begin with an 's'. I haven't used this palette very much, but I'm hoping that going to change because of a product I bought below. I want to use this properly, so if I like it keep an eye out for a review & swatches! 

Zoeva Fine Liner Brush 315 - Zoeva brushes have been raved and raved about and whilst I’ve admired them from afar, I’ve never really felt a need to get them. However I stumbled across the fine eyeliner brush and it has sat in my ‘shopping’ bookmark for well over 4 months I’d say. I kept hoping I’d see one in store and just be able to pick that one up. I use this brush nearly every day (hence why it was so hard to bloody clean for the photo), with the Maybelline Gel Eyeliner. Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m going to do winged eyeliner and the I’ll do my mascara and I’ll be like crap. With this brush it doesn’t matter if I do it before or after, the angle of the brush means it won’t interfere with my lashes. The brush is also seriously thin (again making it hard to photograph) that it makes doing winged eyeliner a breeze. This seriously has made my life so much easier. I like to mix the Maybelline one and my MAC Liquidlast Eyeliner, because the Maybelline one ain’t as permanent as they’d like you to believe.

Zoeva Soft Definer Brush 227 -  The 217 is just a dream of a brush, it is so bloody soft! I looked into this because it has been named as a dupe for the MAC 217. Being an eyeshadow newbie, I didn't want to splurge out too much on expensive tools, and I already have the RT Eye Brush collection, so I just wanted something to add to that.  I have only used it once with eyeshadow and was there blending away and my gosh did it make a difference. My eyeshadow actually looked good, it’s a shame it was wasted because I wasn’t even going anywhere. Of course I cannot compare it to the MAC one because I don’t own it, but I’m pretty darn happy with it. I’m so impressed with these brushes that I’m going to have to look to Zoeva next when I need to fulfil my brush needs.



Ceramic Dish - I picked up this dish from H&M whilst I was doing my Christmas shopping. I already own a smaller version of it with a different style and I used it for storing the jewellery I use day to day and have it placed on my dressing table away from my other jewellery. However it was becoming seriously over crowed, so when I saw this big one I was like yes I need this. I wasn’t fussed about the design, but my gosh has this been so useful. They now both sit on my dressing table but this one is reserved those ‘day to day, but not day to day’ jewellery bits and the other really is my day to day one. This was only £2.50 but the one in the link is £2.99, because I couldn’t find this online, but to be fair the one in the link is much nicer. 

The Organic Pharmacy Skin Brush - This was my final purchase from Feel Unique.  I’ve wanted to start dry body brushing because I think I need to and because it has a lot of great benefits. It also feels damn therapeutic as well. I just looked up a bunch of brushes on Feel Unique and picked one I liked the sound of. I wasn’t looking for a particular brand, but after looking for the link for the post I realised it’s the same one that does that carrot butter cleanser, so good stuff there. It was out of stock for a while (such as the case with most of the brushes I looked at) and it out of stock at the moment too. I’ve used this about 5 times and I find it has the right firmness to the bristles. It’s good enough to feel like it’s doing something but it does not feel like it’s scratching my skin to death. I love that it has the handle for those hard to reach places, but then it has the strap so you can comfortable hold it in your hand. 

So those have been some of my recent purchases. I felt really good to knock some things off my list, I don’t know about you but I always seem to forget there are a bunch of things that I really want and end up impulse buying things that I could really do without!


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untitled #1

Sunday, 18 January 2015



 Everyone gets that overwhelming feeling that nothing in their life at that precise moment is okay or ever will be okay. That moment when the water drop collides with the ground and there is nothing you could have done about it. But you will think about. You will think about what you could have done in between that time. You desperately torture yourself over things you could have done, should have done. Even when you convince yourself that it’s too late, you will still go over it over and over again. How can one part of your brain not get that it’s over? That now, now there is nothing you can do change what happened. That it has happened you have done it and that it needs to stop torturing yourself. There has to be a part of the brain that enjoys the torture. That wants you to relive every moment, so you can feel the embarrassment over and over again.

I believe in the forgiveness of the soul. The forgiveness of each other. Sometimes, however, I can’t forgive myself.

Img cred: Unknown.

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The Incomplete Agenda.

Wednesday, 14 January 2015


The title is annoying no? Bear with me though, hopefully I'll be writing the full agenda in 6 months. However we are sticking with the incomplete agenda because today I'm talking about 6 "resolutions" that I want to have completed/in place in 6 months time. ‘Six Six Months Resolutions.’ Yeah bet you're glad I didn't go for that title. 

I'm not the kind for resolutions, as I know change can happen any time. But there's been something about the end of 2014 and the beginning of 2015 that has left my mind brewing. This year, for some reason, I’ve come to see just how motivating it can be to have a ‘renewing point’ in our lives. In the past two weeks, I’ve noticed a reoccurrence of thoughts of things I would like to do/stop/change about myself. I wrote them out on Evernotes and well here we are: 

1. Talk kindly to myself - You know when you're berating yourself over and over again? Yeah I need to stop with that. I’m the worst for beating myself up over the stupidest thing and it has got to stop. It’s so bad for my self-esteem and some of these things just don’t matter. I consistently call myself lazy because I’m not out there doing a million things like people my age seem to do. But I realised I have to be kinder to myself, I am not them and further more I am not lazy. 

2. Put make-up on at least 2 times a week - Does this sound odd? I don't mean it in any way to suggest I need the make-up but I just feel great when I take the time to invest in my appearance. Just to be more clear, I mean putting on concealer and foundation and blush. I am never without my eyeliner, mascara or brows for work. It's just I also love playing around with different lip colours for work, so I've decided that at least two days a week I'll forgo that sleep and make myself look and feel fabulous. I tend to wear make-up on the weekend if I’m out and about because I actually have the time, so this just counts for the week. 

3. Exercise in the morning at least once a week - I was in the gym at 6.45am one day last year, this was only because I hadn't been able to sleep for the past 3 days, and the thought of lying awake until my alarm rang was hell. So I carted myself off to the gym and it was actually good. Thing is, it never happened again. Ideally I'd love to go to the gym in the morning for the whole week day, but I have to be realistic, so baby steps. I'll still do workouts when I get home for the other days, but would love to see the gym in the AM. 

4. Turn my laptop off at 10pm every day – Yep. I love the internet but I waste a lot of time on it. I click on one thing and end up losing three hours of my life. It also is the reason I go to bed a lot of the time, so I’m hoping my implementing this rule, I can read for a bit and then be asleep by 11.30pm. It takes me about 45minutes to fall asleep so, I really do need to step away from the laptop! I haven’t extended this to all devices, but really I should. But as I said before, baby steps. 

5. See a dermatologist and get a skin treatment – I have had skin issues all my life. I did have a dermatologist for a while as a teen, but she was awful. Considering my skin is one of the things that bother me the most, I’ve decided it’s time to invest some money into addressing and improving those issues! The internet has helped me a great deal, but it has also made me realise that sometimes you need to invest in what is important to you. Although I’m much more confident in my skin than I was as a teenager, I’d still like to get as close to “perfect” skin as my acne, oily self can. 

6. Save 12% of my income every month – I need to accept that living to very last penny of my wage is not smart. There are a lot of things I’d like to do this year and so I need to start taking my savings situation seriously. Whilst 12% isn’t a huge amount, I think it is a great starting point for me and will allow me to show some self restraint when it comes to spending. My downfall is eating out, I just love food okay? 

And those are my 6! I’m actually really happy with all of these because they are things that have bothered me on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. I’m also happy with them because they are not dependent on each other. Whilst I was reading Willpower, they mentioned that the reason we tend to fail at our goals is because we set ourselves so many and they often use up our willpower. For example if you’re trying to quit smoking and losing weight you are using your willpower to stop having a cigarette and cut out yummy foods. I think my goals are varied enough that I will not be depleting my willpower on an hourly or daily basis in order to meet them. For example me putting on make-up for work doesn’t deplete my willpower to turn off my laptop at 10pm. I hope that made sense! What I’m saying is they seem achievable and are not all based around cutting stuff out and restricting myself. 

 I’m going to revisit these in 6 months time and see how I’ve done! Do you have any resolutions for this year?

Img credit: 1

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Secret Santa Gifts + Mini Khroma Khole Kardashian's Kardazzle Face Palette Review.

Sunday, 11 January 2015

So this is long overdue but I really wanted to show the gifts I got in my Secret Santa Swap, even thought I filmed it (my YouTube debut lol) I wanted to show one of the products I have been loving. Seriously I want to just take it everywhere with me. Especially because I am loving one of the products so so much!


So I won't dither on about the SS because Christmas come and gone. But I received these gifts and so happy with them all. I am yet to wear the earrings, but have been loving the bracelet. I was super excited about the Rimmel Apocalips however this shade does not suit me at all. Which is a shame because the formula is great! The star of the show for me was the Khroma - Khloe Kardashian's Kardazzle Face Palette. I was so intrigued by this because I honestly don't pay a lot of attention to anything the Kardashians bring out, and I think I've only ever see one blogger I follow review it (The Sunday Girl). However when I opened this up I was so happy. Plus Khole is my favourite Kardashian!



(with flash)

How beautiful are the colours?! I also love how compact the whole thing is, it's so easy for travel (like I even go anywhere) and I think this has such a fantastic range of colours in terms of eyeshadow. It could have done with a darker matte shade, but if I'm perfectly honest I haven't even touched the matte shades. I just love love the shimmery ones. I thought the formula would be meh, but this is so pigmented and I am beyond impressed! My favourite shades have to be the two shimmery shades on the bottom left. I tried my luck at applying these along with some of the dark mattes in theBalm Nude 'Tude Eyeshadow Palette and it actually looked good (I'm terrible at applying eyeshadow). 

I also love how this came with a blush, highlighter and bronzer. Obviously Khloe is much lighter than me so I don't think I can use those as they are supposed to be used. I did try out the blush and I thought it looked okay. Overall I'm just super happy with the eyeshadows especially the shimmer ones. I love how travel friendly this is and how it lends itself to creating various looks. 

I'm not sure of places that physically stock the Kardashian products but Feel Unique and Look Fantastic are listed as official stockist. However I cannot find the palette on either of their sites. 
I have a vague memory of them selling it in Dorothy Perkins but perhaps I've mistaken that for their clothes. Either way my Secret Santa managed it and I am eternally grateful! 

Do you have any compact palettes that you love? 


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January Book List

Friday, 2 January 2015

I’m not going to harp on about how I can’t believe its January already, or New Year’s resolution because me no care.  But Happy New Year all and I hope your heads are feeling much better! I’m going to dive in with the book talk because I love talking about them and looking at my analytics you guys love these posts as well! 

So last year (oh yes I did just say that) I decided that enough with purchasing all the books Kindle Daily Deals throws at me. I had over 40 books sitting in my Amazon ‘save for later’ basket, so I thought I’d better get on with making a dent in that number. I also missed the feel of an actual book, so I decided no Kindle purchases during that shopping trip. I ended up buying 6 books, I ordered them on like the 23rd and they came just after Christmas. Now before we get on to them, or whether I’m even attempting to put 6 books as a target for this month, let’s talk about last month and the Goodreads reading challenge. 

So I finished all the books I set myself last month all within December. So yay for that. I can definitely confirm that Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns is not worth your time, it is not as entertaining as Andrea at Runway and she just spends a lot of time moaning about her life. She also moans constantly about Miranda and the whole I time I just kept thinking  'you spent ONE year working there, get the fuck over it'. I found The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness really hard to enjoy, it was okay to get in to but I found that you really had to read a bit, stop and digest it before carrying on. It’s something I need to read again just to get the full message, it’s a short book but by no means an easy read but it is very insightful. Simplify was one the best of bunch for me, it was short and had some really good tips. I found myself agreeing with so many things Joshua said. I’ve already decluttered and have plans for more. I even ended up fitting another book in, it was a last minute purchase and I did not realise it would be such a short book (I never look at page numbers) It was Mishaps & Mistletoe which was a short Christmas story, I thought it was cute and really enjoyed it. 

So Goodreads… I didn’t reach my target. I ended up reading 37 out of 40 books. So when it came to setting my target this year and ummed and ahhed but then finally decided I wasn’t going to go lower or keep it the same. In upped my goal to 40 books this year. So with that target in place, let’s get on with what I’m reading this month! 


Overcoming Low Self-Esteem by Melanie Fennell – Really? Yes. I don’t think many people think it about me, but my self esteem is horrendously low, I’m just good at faking it. I’m pretty sure this one of the books my psychologist wanted me to read (or one of the books in this range) and it has just been sitting in my ‘save for later’ basket for way too long. Considering I’ve done CBT before, I’m hoping I’ll find helpful enough to implement into my daily life. Or at least start to feel better about myself overall. 

The Angel’s Game by Carlos Ruiz Zafon – When I read ‘The Shadow of the Wind’ I was blown away. The book stayed on my mind for a long time, it was beautifully written, the stories were so intricate and the language was so beautiful. I knew there were other books by him so of course it was again in my ‘save for later.’ What I didn’t know was that the books are part of a series, and The Angel’s Game is number 2, so I’m looking forward to diving back into the same Zafon’s story world. If you don’t see me for a while it’s because I’m too busy dreaming I was inside that book. 

Unsuitable Men by Pippa Wright – The light hearted read. This was sat in my ‘save for later’ basket for whatever reason and I love a good chicklit! I’m sure I’ve had this saved because it was suggested as something similar to a book called Pear Shaped that I absolutely loved. I'm sure it will resonate with my never ending bad luck with men, so I'm ready to get stuck in! 

So those are my reads for this month! But what about the other books pictured you ask? Those will be in my February List.

I’m going to try and be more frequent with my book reviews but I always struggle to write them because I’m not sure if I should only write about a book if I find it amazing, or if I didn’t like it. Also book reviews are hard for me to put together, but if any of the three takes my fancy you may well see them in a book review soon. You can add me on Goodreads and also create your own reading challenge for 2015! 

What books are you reading this month?

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