What I’m going to wear to Cheltenham Races Ladies Day on 11th March

I was contacted by EtailPR* to see if I wanted to take part in their Cheltenham Racecourse Ladies Day competition called #ColourMeMarch. It's not what I usually do but I thought it would be fun to take part in the challenge. I can't actually go to the races, as it takes place on Wednesday 11th March and I'll be working but I thought it would be fun to take part nonetheless!

I didn't have time to actually pull outfits from my wardrobe and try them on for you, but that made it even more fun for me because I got to go browsing on all the websites for bits, which is good because I don't actually own the one thing needed for the races...a fascinator! Growing up I always saw people wearing fascinators on TV for the races and thought what on earth are those, I was never sure if I liked them or not. And I certainly never thought I'd be choosing one myself, but I digress lets get on to the outfit!

As you can tell from the hashtag it's all about colour, now I'm the type of person who wears black on a daily basis but I do love injecting a pop of colour in to my outfits. For me the races have always been about getting dressed up, some I feel for these things colour is totally appropriate. I felt this dress would be perfect for the occasion, granted it's a little bold but I think it would work nicely against my skin tone. Plus I just love most of the dresses from AX Paris - they do the nicest things!

I'd pair the dress with simple strappy black shoes and a black clutch bag. I'd of course have a black fascinator to top off my whole look! I chose a simple one because as interesting as the huge ones look, they are really not my thing. 

What would you wear to the races? Enter the competition here:

http://www.thefestival15.co.uk/colourmemarch/#UbHTbYqu22F4spY0.97

*This is not a sponsored post. All views are entirely my own. I was asked if I wanted to take part, but I wasn't paid for or sent anything to review.

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My Daily Make-up Routine + Swatches

I’m not very experimental with makeup and so I reach for the same thing everyday, so I thought hey why not write about my every day make-up products. Although I’m hoping to switch things up with nude/neutral lip colours and different colour blushes, I thought today I’d talk about my make-up stash. My products and brushes are not in pristine condition because I actually use it on a day to day basis (read I am too lazy to wash anything for my blog). 

The first thing I do is prime my face. I’ve been switching between the Benefit Porefessional and my Smashbox Photo Finish Primer (oil free version) I got with my first purchase of my Smashbox foundation. I either use them separately or mix them. I didn’t really think I needed a primer but the other day I put my makeup on without it, because I was only wearing it for a few hours and I was like this feels WEIRD.  I then go in with concealer, I use the Becca Compact Concealer in the shade Chestnut (I think). I purchased this from Fragrance Direct for like £5.00 but it isn't available there any more. I didn't take picture of it open because it doesn't look all that great, but click the link and you'll see a much better one! I know people like to conceal after but this one states to conceal first. And I kind of prefer it that way if I'm honest. I use the Real Techniques Concealer Brush from their Core Collection.

I use the Real Techniques Buffing Brush to blend my concealer in. I then take the Foundation Brush from The Core Collection and dot the Smashbox Liquid Halo HD Foundation in Shade 10 around my face. I then go back with my buffing brush and make sure everything is blended in. Next I powder my face with the powder I got in my Sleek Foundation Base Duo in Henna (the foundation ran out a long time ago) and the Elf Powder Brush. I was completely clueless about powders when I bought this foundation and I still kinda am, but I keep this with me during the day to deal with the excess oil. 

Next is bronzer. I don’t always do this, but sometimes when I feel I am looking lacklustre I like to use it on my temples and under my cheekbones.I use the Elf Baked Bronzer in the colour Bora Bora. I have had this for over a year and I looks like I haven’t used it at all! I use it the Real Techniques Blush Brush, as I feel it just distributes the perfect amount and is a good size.

I then move on to blush. The only blush palette I own and really the only blushes I do own, are the Sleek Blush Pumpkin. As you can see it comes with three shades - P Pie, Squash and Latern (L-R). I used to use Latern a lot because I didn't really fancy the other two and I hated the shimmer in P Pie, but lately I have actually been reaching for P Pie and when applied lightly it is actually very nice.

Next I move on to my eyes, I use the Rimmel Exaggerate Eye Definer in my waterline and then comes mascara. I use the Jordana Best Lash Extreme Volumizing Mascara followed by the Rimmel Lash Accelerator Endless Mascara until I get my desired affect. Then I move on to my brows. Sometimes I do this before anything else (primer, concealer etc) and sometimes I do it last - it actually just depends on when I remember to do them!  I brush the hairs with the spoolie on the Maybelline Eye Master Studio Brow, I actually just use the spoolie now as I ran out of the product, I hated the product but I love the spoolie. I then fill them in with the Rimmel Professional Eyebrow Pencil, sometimes I set them in place with Revlon Brow Fantasy (not a fan of it). I don’t really like (name) but I’m just using it up, I desperately love the Maybelline Brow Drama, so will be getting that again.

Occasionally I will do in with the winged eyeliner and when I that I use the Maybelline Eye Studio Lasting Drama Gel Liner which I reviewed here, with my Zoeva Fine Liner Brush 315.

 L - R Sleek Smother, Revlon Black Cherry, Wet n Wild Sugar Plum Fairy and Avon Lucky Kiss.

Then my lips! I have a couple of colours on rotation that I use and like I mentioned here, I am just drawn to purple plummy shades. The ones I reach for weekly are Wet n Wild's Sugar Plum Fairy, Revlon's Black Cherry, Sleek's Smother and Avon's Lucky Kiss. Sorry one of the swatches is smudged, I totally forgot I had it on my arm!

So that’s it! I carry around a few bits with me for touch ups and definitely take my powder and powder brush with me.

I have a small make-up collection and really only plan to increase it with a few more products, but even what I have feels overwhelming to me sometimes. I am definitely a lip product lover, I just love how they can transform any look.

What products do you reach for on a day to day basis? 

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March Book List

I finished off February on a book high. I don’t care how geeky that makes me sound. I read a book I really enjoyed and even gave it 5 out of 5 stars on Goodreads. So how did I do this month? I finished all the books in my list. I started off with False Memory by Dean Koontz and oh man this was a really long book. It was interesting because the book only spans out to about 3+ days or something like that, so I’m not sure why it’s so long. It actually enjoyed the book even if the ending was a bit meh. The next book I read was Season to Taste or How to Eat Your Husband and it’s not often I feel this way, but I really felt like this book as a complete was of my time. There was just no story, it was incredibly dull throughout and so I kept thinking that there would be a plot twist to make up for it, but that never happened. It really was just a book talking about a woman eating her husband. I won’t bash it anymore because I appreciate the effort that goes into writing a book, but this was not a book I enjoyed. 

Next I read The Death of Bees and guys I just loved this book. It was not what I expected at all and I’m not even sure how I came about putting this gem in my Amazon basket, but I’m glad I did. I don’t know what else to say, apart from this book is what makes me love reading. It isn’t even a book I can relate to, it’s two sisters in Scotland who bury their parents in the back garden and carry on living. It’s just interesting to see their lives unravel and I just loved the writing in this.

So this month I am still pick out of my Amazon ‘save for later’ bag. I’m going with four books this month. Although I managed to do three this month just reading to and from work, I want to have one evening dedicated to reading a week, so hopefully I’ll get through my books a lot faster. 

Sula by Toni Morrison – I’m not sure how I came across this book, but I remember reading loads about the author and her achievements. I think I picked this book because it sounded the most interesting, to me, out of all her books. I have gone to purchase this book so many times and then decided against it, but I finally decide enough was enough and that in March I would finally read it. 

Where The Truth Lies by Jessica Warman – I can’t remember why I wanted to read this book and reading the blurb doesn’t jog my memory either. It sort of sounds like a light read, with a bit of a twist so hopefully it will be something I enjoy.

Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver – I’m a lover of young adult books, even if they can be repetitive and unrealistic. I read Thirteen Reasons Why, a book about a girl who commits suicide, when I was in my teens and have always been strangely drawn to books like this ever since. Before I Fall is meant to be similar to that and just has such good reviews everywhere (4+) so I thought I'd better read it already!

Incendiary by Chris Cleave – This is a book in the bookshelves at work. I have the read The Other Hand/ Little Bee by Chris Cleave and thoroughly enjoyed that, so I thought I would read this seeing as I had the chance. The blurb doesn’t give much away, but then the blurbs on his books never do, so it makes it all the more exciting to read!

So that’s my list for this month, I’m really excited to read Incendiary and see what happens. I don’t really feel much about the others, I’m just hoping that one of them is good! 

What book are you reading at the moment?

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Going Backwards.

So back here I said I was coming off my anti-depressants. Life was all fine and dandy then, I was just settling in to my new job, I’d passed my driving test and you know I was doing better. I was more than willing to see if I could manage with the meds. But on this day (Tuesday 17th February), apologies as this post will go up later than that; I have decided I am going back on them. 

I have tried to get off them on previous occasions; however I have also had the worst brain zaps to accompany that, so I and would always go back on them. I did a bit of research this time round and decided to cut down gradually. I’m only on 10mg, which isn’t a high dosage at all. So I had been cutting down by ¾ then ½ and now ¼ and then ¼ every three days. I wasn’t really sure what the next stage after that was so that’s currently what I have been doing. 

Well until today. Today I took a sick day off work because my brain was sick. In the past two months I have dealt with dips, some of them are quite simply the dips of life, that’s not a problem. However in the past two weeks I’ve had a real turn in my thoughts, they have turned sour and they have become increasingly dark from various life happenings. In short, I am now plagued by my thoughts of self harm. I don’t think I’ve ever shared my struggle with self harm, but I kicked that coping mechanism and promised myself and several others that I wouldn’t touch my pretty little skin again. And I haven’t, or really felt the need to. However the frequency and intensity of these thoughts are alarming. Especially going alongside the thoughts of just being sick of living, I’m really worried that I’m heading down a dark road again. There are just days when I feel like I just need to ring up and get myself taken into some type of care. I don’t want that and I don’t want to want to resort to self harm to get these horrible feelings out of me. So I’m going back to what helps.

I know that recovery is a bumpy road. My doctor even told me not to be discouraged if I couldn’t come off the medication, so I know it’s not failure. I attended the Time to Change Celebration event two weekends ago (that's where the cake picture is from) where I listened to stories of recovery, and I just know that it isn’t easy or continuous. I wish it was, I wish I didn’t have to keep starting and stopping. There are times when I feel like I can take on the world, but recently I’ve dealt with changes that have just taken the fight out of me. I’m talking work, men, family and friends. There are quite a few things eating away at my self-esteem at the moment that I don’t want to be buried in it. I also don’t want to sit around moaning about it and wallowing in it. Depression is just so painful sometimes that I feel like tearing my insides apart because I do not understand how I can feel like this. And constantly too. It’s a mystery, so I’m reaching out for the first thing that I can change, and yup that’s my meds. That and I’m going to start counselling again. 

I’m not even sure what the point of this post is other than to say LOOK AT ME BACK ON MEDS AND NOT COPING WITH LIFE,WOE WOE WOE. I am dubious about posting this. But it’s here and it’s my space and I think stuff like this is important because I know from the outside it probably looks incredibly different, but it’s important to share these things. It’s why I spend my time doing work for Time to Change because I know that talking about it matters. So if I can help one person feel okay about not feeling okay then I’m gonna do that. 

Sometimes I do wonder about talking so openly about these things on my blog because duh, future employers. But then I remember I am still an awesome functioning human being, so I don’t give a fuck. Despite everything that goes on I still bloody love to work. I remember that I have resilience and that’s a bloody important thing to have. 

So that’s all for my mental state update. I hope you’re all having a much better day/week/life than me!

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The Mid Month Wishlist

I was up last night (well this morning, this is what happens when you sleep valentines day away) thinking what the fark am I going to post on my blog? I don't believe in blogging for the sake of it, but I do think consistency is important. I have SO many things I want to blog about, but my head really isn't in the right place these days (job woes, boy woes, LIFE woes). Honestly I just want to go live in a cottage in the Irish countryside with a cat.

So in the wee hours of the morning, obviously it hit me that I should do a wish list post because what greater filler post is there and because who doesn't think about the ten thousand things they'd buy if they had money? Seriously I've been writing a list this whole week, obviously this has nothing to do with me getting back into the swing of watching YouTube videos... My bank account is weeping and payday is ages away so I cannot indulge myself in anything but the necessities, but I can dream about the stuff I'll spend my money on once I have it.

MAC Lip Pencil in Currant - I will probably walk into MAC and buy like 3 lip liners, I really hope I don't because I just cannot afford to but you know. Purple/Plum colours are my lipsticks of choice, but once I apply them in the morning I'm never bothered to reapply. Because I eat a lot, by 11 most of my lipstick is gone and I am too lazy to reapply. So hopefully wearing a lip liner will increase the longevity. And man what a beautiful colour Currant is! You can see it properly from the stock image, but there are loads of swatches here.

Clinique Even Better Essence Lotion - I've been reading up loads of skincare this month. I got kind of tired of trying skincare because it was hyped up. I've never heard of this product, but it's essentially a toner (even though it says lotion) and it meant to be really good for combination/oily skin. 

Lousie Young LY34 Super Foundation Brush - Even though there's nothing wrong with my RT buffing brush, I really really want to have this brush. My RT foundation brush is horrible for actually blending foundation into your face, I always use it to paint my face and then go back in with my buffing brush. Even though I don't need another tool, I want it okay. 

Maybelline Lipstick in Totally Toffee - Although I love my purples, I have lately been wondering about nudes. I've never really bothered with them previously because I find it hard to shop for one. So I hunted around for reviews on nudes/neutrals for dark skin tones and I think this might just be one that I try out.  Sometimes I don't always feel like wearing colour on my lips and with spring approaching (lol I hope), I think it will be nice to have some muted colours. 

Milani Lipstick in Sangria - Ah after watching the wonderful Liz's 'Purple Lipstick on Darkskin' I decided that I needed this in my life. Like I said before my go to lip colour is always purples and plums, and yes I do still feel that I need another one in my life. 

Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation - I absolutely love my Smashbox foundation, but lately I have wanted something that it full coverage. The Smashbox foundation is actually medium to full, but I hate the thought of just layering it on. I've heard so many good things about this foundation, although I can't remember if it's suitable for oily skin or not. I definitely want to get myself to a counter and get matched to a shade.

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No doubt I'll be paid and forget that I even wanted these babies, but that's all that is on my list at the moment! 

What bits are you lusting after?

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